Active voice refers to when a transitive verb (a verb that takes an object) expresses the performing of an action by the grammatical subject of a clause. That's the technical explanation, but don't let the terminology scare you off. You already know what active voice is.
Our dreams of California as a physical paradise contradict the reality of increasing pollution
This is an active voice sentence. The grammatical subject "dreams" performs an action: "our dreams...contradict."
That looks pretty easy doesn't it. Yes, writing in active voice should be quite natural, but many collete writers have slipped into the habit of using other voices and verb forms more frequently in their formal writing because they think these wordier structures sound more intellectual or professional.
In this sense, using active voice is like getting back to the basics of writing. Let's look at some other active voice sentences that might appear in college papers.
The Fast and The Furious panders to adolescent fantasies about criminal rebellion as a form of heroism.
- Grammatical Subject: The Fast and The Furious
- Action Performed By Subject: panders
High living costs. increasing fees, and the unwillingness of Californians to pay higher taxes all contribute to the growing gaps between the dreams and realities of college education in California.
- Grammatical Subject: costs, fees, and unwillingness
- Action performed: contribute
Ok, if active voice is so easy, then how come writer's struggle to use it in their writing. Two problems contribute to the disappearance of active voice in early college writing. First, writers have slipped into the habit of relying on expletive constructions and passive voice (more on these issues below). Second, new college writers have not yet developed a broad enough vocabularly of active verbs to invigorate their writing.
The second problem is easiest to fix: before you begin a paper, bust out ye olde thesaurus and develop a good list of appropriate active verbs to use in your thesis, topic, and clincher sentences. Remember to test all of your chosen verbs using a dictionary; choices made solely from a thesaurus often do not work out.
Here's a fun starter list:
Chicano Park celebrates, questions, undermines, underscores, highlights, affirms, debunks, denounces, decries, protests, honors, contests, embodies, represents, undercuts, eulagizes, commemorates, depicts, complicates, challenges, or contests the dream of coming to California for economic opportunity.
The first problem is more challenging and requires you to recognize when a sentence is not in active voice and try to fix it. The two most common and problematic non-active constructions are expletive constructions and passive voice, and these both require different correction strategies. Let's look at both briefly.
Expletive constructions you heard about in the web lecture on concision. Sentences that begin with "there is" and "it is" or variations on these pairs. Typically, you can make these sentences active by dorpping the expletive construction or dropping the expletive construction and finding a verb (either by adding a verb or moving one out of a clause).
- There were several angry protestors at the rally.
- Several angry protestors attended the rally.
- There are many polluted beaches in California that need our collective attention.
- Many polluted beaches in California need our collective attention
But sometimes, when you drop the expletive construction, you find yourself in need of a subject and a verb. Look for an agent--a person, place, thing, or idea--that can perform an action in the sentence. Once you identify an agent or actor, then you will often find a verb embedded in a phrase or clause that you can shift into the main verb position.
Although both of these rewirtes are a few words longer than the originals, they have more clarity and are more easily combined with other sentences to form more complex structures.
Expletive Construction: Because many other factors contribute to beach pollution, it is unfair to blame taxpayers for this phenomenon.
The other frequent structure that you should try to reshape into active voice is passive voice. In passive voice sentences, a transitive verb expresses the receiving of an action. Again, this is less scary than it sounds.
Passive Voice: The tree was uprooted by the storm.
That is a passive voice sentence. The easy fix for passive voice involves three steps.
Step one: Move the grammatical subject behind the verb
was uprooted the tree by the storm
Step two: Drop the form "to be" that is in front of the action verb
uprooted the tree by the storm
Step three: Make the object of the preposition "by" (whether that is stated or unstated) the subject preceding the action verb.
The storm uprooted the tree.
Here are some more examples with their corrections:
Passive Voice: He was passed over for the job.
Active Voice Rewrite: His employer passed him over for the job. (note how the writer must identify the implied "by his employer" phrase)
Passive Voice: Jim was told to dance more elegantly by the judges.
Active Voice Rewrite: The judges told Jim to dance more elegantly.
Page Updated:
September 20, 2008
Instructor: Jim Sullivan
College Web Site: Miracosta College
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